My Not So Secret Garden

It is the season for gardening. For sprucing up the yard, cutting back the overgrowth, weeding, planting flowers and all that cool stuff associated with spring and summer.

When we first decided to start a vegetable garden we just thought it would be a fun, family type thing to do. Plant some vegetables, tend to them and watch them grow! Sounded like a good idea at the time and it's funny how my brain thinks I have a lot more time than I really do. It always works out really nice in my head then we actually start the project and it's cram time. Trying to pick a few weeds and maybe get a watering in after work....keeping in mind I still have to cook dinner get kids ready for bed, make sure homework is finished, etc. etc.

In the beginning, as I said, it was just a fun thing to do. Now it is a matter of necessity and I'm getting the gist of what it must have been like 200 years ago when this was a way of life. There was no "produce section" in the grocery store. If you didn't grow it you were out of luck. As of late, I have been experiencing major anxiety attacks at the grocery store, just bracing my self for when the final item has been scanned by the pimple faced snot at the register who has NO clue as to how much money I am actually spending for these 2 - 3 bags of groceries. $175.00 later I trudge from the store, deflated and beaten, for food that will only last a few days - if I'm lucky. I'm beginning to rethink the way we are handling this whole recession thing. When I actually do the math in my head (yes, I know...my head doesn't work properly), I think I can quit my job and stay home and focus all my energy on saving money, by the time I've mastered that, the money we save will be the equivalent to my salary!!! Yeah me!

While hoeing and weeding and watering the garden I pondered briefly, because when I stopped moving the horse flies would zoom in for their feast. Little bastards. Once they latch on to you, it's difficult to get them off - but makes for an interesting and humorous show for the neighbors, let me tell you. Where was I? Oh yes, I was pondering what it must have been like 200 plus years ago when woman tended to the gardening, in full dress for that period. Full length, tightly fitted dress, layers and layers of undergarments, corset. You get the picture. I was in our garden wearing shorts and a tank top and the sweat was pouring off me in buckets. I nearly passed out from dehydration, so I couldn't even imagine what it must have been like for the woman of years ago. I wouldn't have lasted a day. Surely I would have been stoned or dragged behind a horse for disrobing in the garden. I would have had all undergarments removed, skirt hiked up to my hips, shoes discarded, sleeves ripped off the damn dress - you get the picture. That would have been considered naked back in the day. I would have been the talk of the town! "Scandalous" they would all whisper in the corner of the general store. Then there is the bath once or twice a month (if you're well to do). That would have never worked for me. I would have been in the creek with my homemade lye soap every single day! Imagine people thinking you odd, not right in the head for bathing daily! Oh the shame of it all! Like I said, I would have never lasted. Me in a pond with skirts bubbling up around my lifeless body all because some townsfolk wanted to see if I was a witch for all my strange ways.

So back to the garden...it is a necessity, unfortunately because that put a little more pressure on the whole project and making it work. I'm going to research canning this year as well to make our bounty stretch into the winter months. My husband and I were sitting on the back screen porch looking out into our yard and we were discussing the ample food sources we have. Squirrels, chipmunks, humming birds.... ever try to put a humming bird into a rotisserie? Or roasting pan? It just wouldn't work. The spit is wider in diameter than the bird itself and it would fall through the rack in the roasting pan. Not to mention you'd need like 100 of them to make any kind of a meal. It almost wouldn't be worth it - oh who am I kidding, it wouldn't be worth it. Since I'm being all honest and stuff, I'm not that strong...I cry when I watch Bambi. I tried to rescue a baby bunny from a hawk in our back yard, only to have the baby bunny die and a hawk go with out it's meal. I caused an upset in a fragile ecosystem right in my own back yard.

I think is more realistic to put all my efforts into the garden and cutting coupons.....I'll let you know how that works for me.