Ouch

As usual, it has been a very busy weekend trying to cram a weeks worth of stuff into one weekend all while trying to navigate around my naps - which are required for the general well being and safety of all who are in close proximity to me. Add on top of all the usual crap that needs to be done; grocery shopping, laundry, some cleaning, etc. we needed to decorate the house for the holidays. Hanging lights and other festive decorations in the hopes that maybe this will get us in the mood for the typical holiday madness that seems to afflict people this time of year. What happened to the days of a simple wreath on the door and a candle in the window? Well I think I might know the answer to the last question I posed. Too many houses caught on fire (real bummer during the holidays especially when some might be expecting family). Yeah, I know, electric lights - good idea.

I had to unravel the cursed outdoor lights in the hopes that I could find the one bad bulb which for some really stupid, stupid reason affects the whole strand of lights. Who's the genius? Will the genius please stand up and accept their award.... a crown of broken Christmas lites crammed onto their head. Why oh why couldn't the offending bulb at least explode or something so we know which one it is? I personally would like the lights to last more than one holiday season - I do believe I smell a conspiracy.

Anyway, after doing all that and cooking a lovely dinner with my daughter; Pork chops with cabbage and bacon...Yum ! We were getting ready to sit down to dinner and my husband, Matt scurried up from the basement (office) and went to open his bottle of wine so he could have a glass with dinner. I know it was red wine, but not sure what type it was, just that it tends to give him red lips if he has a wee too much. I had just sat down to my yummy meal, fork and knife positioned to start cutting when I heard, "OH CRAP!" Matt was standing by the counter with a panicked look on his face and I though he had cut himself with the cork screw...no biggy, I could poor some peroxide over the wound, slap a band aide on the boo boo and finish my dinner. I was kind of close..it did involve the cork screw, but he didn't just cut himself, he somehow managed to corkscrew his thumb. No, I don't know how the hell he did it...he tried to reenact how it happened after the fact, but I still don't understand - I'll never understand - I refuse to understand. The curly part of the corkscrew was in his thumb AND this particular corkscrew is the kind that folds so it fits neatly in the silverware tray, was folded and in his thumb so he couldn't maneuver it to remove the curly portion. To make matters worse, he thought I was laughing at him, I wasn't (the kids were giggling quietly at the table). What might have been misinterpreted as my laughter, was me trying not to get sick and pass out. For some reason this was really grossing me out. In a shaky voice he asked me to go get some pliers down in the basement...great! How the heck am I going to find anything down there? I ran down and managed to find some needle nose pliers and ran back up stairs. He wanted me to hold part of the metal screw part while he tried to open up the cork screw so he could unscrew it out of his thumb....at this point I'm thinking I really don't want to do this, lets just drive to the ER where we can let the professionals take care of this - after their done laughing of course. For a quick selfish moment I thought...darn my dinner is getting cold, maybe he really doesn't need the whole thumb - we could hack off the part with the corkscrew in it and call it a day. He'll still have a good portion of the thumb left....hmmmm. OK, it was a little longer then a moment. Reason set it and I realized that we would absolutely end up at the ER because of the blood loss and possibly to reattach his thumb....if I didn't leave it on the kitchen floor in my panic to get my beloved some help. I'm sure the cat would have no problem eating it or playing with it until it was unrecognizable and no longer salvageable.... boy, my imagination is just incredible, isn't it?

Finally, he managed to get the cork screw open, with my help of course and the curly part out of his thumb. It bled a little - he washed it off and put a band aid on and that was that. No ER, I didn't pass out, although I did get a mega hot flash while holding the pliers. I thought I might spontaneously combust right there on the spot. We finally sat down to dinner, which by the way was still warm and very tasty and the really ironic thing is, my daughter had already poured red wine from an open bottle and it was on the table already! Brilliant!

The lights are on the house, dinner dishes are put away, Matt is back down in the basement and tomorrow is another week. Stay tuned to see if Mary manages to get her Christmas shopping done before Christmas.

What's become of us?

I came upstairs to blog, because that is where I do this. I like to call it the office, but really it's a old gutted kitchen. Why, you ask is she typing in an old gutted kitchen? The prior owners of this house sectioned off the upstairs and rented it out as an apartment. My husband, Matt and I didn't want to play the renting game because you never know what kind of nut you could wind up having as your tenant, so we opened up the stairwell which involved knocking down a wall. There are two bedrooms upstairs and there used to be a bathroom. Ugly little closet like bathroom with shiny panelling all over the walls and a teeny tiny little shower stall. Well we were going to enlarge the bathroom and the bedrooms using up the space that use to be the kitchen, but that has not happened yet nor will it happen any time in the near future unless we win the lotto or this blog does really really well...hint, hint.

So I'm sitting in the "office" typing away with holes ripped in the ceiling and walls, exposed pipes that use to be the kitchen sink, linoleum flooring torn up in various areas, and of course the cat litter pan, which once again needs changing but bad. It's the scooping kind, but for some reason it doesn't get scooped on a daily basis maybe cuz I'm busy? Ya think? I really believe if we saved all the old used cat litter, we could repave our driveway with it. That scooping stuff hardens like rock! Maybe even build us a nice patio out back? The possibilities are endless and also stinky - I'm thinking like anything, we will either get use to the smell or it will eventually dissipate?

So I came up here to just write because I haven't done it in a awhile and I missed it, like a dear old friend and I start IMing my husband who is down in the basement in his "office". Let's not even go there..... I'm just surprised he doesn't have mold spores growing on him...it's cold, damp & yucky down there - makes my "office" look pretty posh. So why are we IMing? It's sort of fun because we write each other funny one liners that always crack me up. He's very good at making me laugh which is one of my most favorite things in the whole world.

I am tired, and not as punchy as I normally am at this hour so this blog lacks a bit... I will try again tomorrow.

Mary