I believe I let too much time go by between blogs. I probably lose a few readers along the way when I do that, not that I had a lot to begin with, but that doesn't diminish the value of each and everyone on of you. You know who you are.
If you will indulge me, I'd like to tell you a story.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl, let's call her Mary. She adored her father to the ends of the universe and back again, still does and always will. Most of what she knows to be true, she learned from him.
He is a strong man in character, and seemed so big and invincible when she was young...I guess all adults then seemed big, especially when your 3 foot tall. A gentle man with an intuitiveness about people and humility that is just breathtaking. He is an amazing listener with abounding empathy for people and their human conditions and situations. She thought he hung the moon, she still thinks he hangs the moon and always will.
Mary adores her father...when she is upset or sad, she needs to hear his voice, because it calms her as only Daddy can do. There was never a time she didn't feel his love through a look, gesture, word. She adores him. Mary would sit with him in his room and they would talk about everything and everything he has to say is precious and important. She stores all these wise and important gems in her head and she uses them constantly in throughout her lifetime, his lessons spill from her mouth to her children, spouse, friends, co-workers, siblings..
He is a smart man...very, very smart. Mary hopes that maybe someday she can be like him...wise, humble, giving, generous...she aspires to be all these things because she loves her Father for all these qualities and wants to be more like him.
As Mary got older, the conversations continued over the phone... she didn't feel like herself if she didn't talk to her Dad at least once a week. He is always there for her and she can still feel his love over the phone. She adores him.
Then came the day Mary's father became ill. It is hard for Mary to accept...because he is her Dad, he can hang the moon, she adores him. She hopes she can make the pain go away with her sheer will and love for him....she prays...she prays...she will continue to pray because this is her Father, this is a wonderful gentle man that is good to the bone and should not be in pain.
She loves him and thinks he can hang the moon - I love him and I'm pretty damn sure he can hang the moon.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
My Not So Secret Garden
It is the season for gardening. For sprucing up the yard, cutting back the overgrowth, weeding, planting flowers and all that cool stuff associated with spring and summer.
When we first decided to start a vegetable garden we just thought it would be a fun, family type thing to do. Plant some vegetables, tend to them and watch them grow! Sounded like a good idea at the time and it's funny how my brain thinks I have a lot more time than I really do. It always works out really nice in my head then we actually start the project and it's cram time. Trying to pick a few weeds and maybe get a watering in after work....keeping in mind I still have to cook dinner get kids ready for bed, make sure homework is finished, etc. etc.
In the beginning, as I said, it was just a fun thing to do. Now it is a matter of necessity and I'm getting the gist of what it must have been like 200 years ago when this was a way of life. There was no "produce section" in the grocery store. If you didn't grow it you were out of luck. As of late, I have been experiencing major anxiety attacks at the grocery store, just bracing my self for when the final item has been scanned by the pimple faced snot at the register who has NO clue as to how much money I am actually spending for these 2 - 3 bags of groceries. $175.00 later I trudge from the store, deflated and beaten, for food that will only last a few days - if I'm lucky. I'm beginning to rethink the way we are handling this whole recession thing. When I actually do the math in my head (yes, I know...my head doesn't work properly), I think I can quit my job and stay home and focus all my energy on saving money, by the time I've mastered that, the money we save will be the equivalent to my salary!!! Yeah me!
While hoeing and weeding and watering the garden I pondered briefly, because when I stopped moving the horse flies would zoom in for their feast. Little bastards. Once they latch on to you, it's difficult to get them off - but makes for an interesting and humorous show for the neighbors, let me tell you. Where was I? Oh yes, I was pondering what it must have been like 200 plus years ago when woman tended to the gardening, in full dress for that period. Full length, tightly fitted dress, layers and layers of undergarments, corset. You get the picture. I was in our garden wearing shorts and a tank top and the sweat was pouring off me in buckets. I nearly passed out from dehydration, so I couldn't even imagine what it must have been like for the woman of years ago. I wouldn't have lasted a day. Surely I would have been stoned or dragged behind a horse for disrobing in the garden. I would have had all undergarments removed, skirt hiked up to my hips, shoes discarded, sleeves ripped off the damn dress - you get the picture. That would have been considered naked back in the day. I would have been the talk of the town! "Scandalous" they would all whisper in the corner of the general store. Then there is the bath once or twice a month (if you're well to do). That would have never worked for me. I would have been in the creek with my homemade lye soap every single day! Imagine people thinking you odd, not right in the head for bathing daily! Oh the shame of it all! Like I said, I would have never lasted. Me in a pond with skirts bubbling up around my lifeless body all because some townsfolk wanted to see if I was a witch for all my strange ways.
So back to the garden...it is a necessity, unfortunately because that put a little more pressure on the whole project and making it work. I'm going to research canning this year as well to make our bounty stretch into the winter months. My husband and I were sitting on the back screen porch looking out into our yard and we were discussing the ample food sources we have. Squirrels, chipmunks, humming birds.... ever try to put a humming bird into a rotisserie? Or roasting pan? It just wouldn't work. The spit is wider in diameter than the bird itself and it would fall through the rack in the roasting pan. Not to mention you'd need like 100 of them to make any kind of a meal. It almost wouldn't be worth it - oh who am I kidding, it wouldn't be worth it. Since I'm being all honest and stuff, I'm not that strong...I cry when I watch Bambi. I tried to rescue a baby bunny from a hawk in our back yard, only to have the baby bunny die and a hawk go with out it's meal. I caused an upset in a fragile ecosystem right in my own back yard.
I think is more realistic to put all my efforts into the garden and cutting coupons.....I'll let you know how that works for me.
When we first decided to start a vegetable garden we just thought it would be a fun, family type thing to do. Plant some vegetables, tend to them and watch them grow! Sounded like a good idea at the time and it's funny how my brain thinks I have a lot more time than I really do. It always works out really nice in my head then we actually start the project and it's cram time. Trying to pick a few weeds and maybe get a watering in after work....keeping in mind I still have to cook dinner get kids ready for bed, make sure homework is finished, etc. etc.
In the beginning, as I said, it was just a fun thing to do. Now it is a matter of necessity and I'm getting the gist of what it must have been like 200 years ago when this was a way of life. There was no "produce section" in the grocery store. If you didn't grow it you were out of luck. As of late, I have been experiencing major anxiety attacks at the grocery store, just bracing my self for when the final item has been scanned by the pimple faced snot at the register who has NO clue as to how much money I am actually spending for these 2 - 3 bags of groceries. $175.00 later I trudge from the store, deflated and beaten, for food that will only last a few days - if I'm lucky. I'm beginning to rethink the way we are handling this whole recession thing. When I actually do the math in my head (yes, I know...my head doesn't work properly), I think I can quit my job and stay home and focus all my energy on saving money, by the time I've mastered that, the money we save will be the equivalent to my salary!!! Yeah me!
While hoeing and weeding and watering the garden I pondered briefly, because when I stopped moving the horse flies would zoom in for their feast. Little bastards. Once they latch on to you, it's difficult to get them off - but makes for an interesting and humorous show for the neighbors, let me tell you. Where was I? Oh yes, I was pondering what it must have been like 200 plus years ago when woman tended to the gardening, in full dress for that period. Full length, tightly fitted dress, layers and layers of undergarments, corset. You get the picture. I was in our garden wearing shorts and a tank top and the sweat was pouring off me in buckets. I nearly passed out from dehydration, so I couldn't even imagine what it must have been like for the woman of years ago. I wouldn't have lasted a day. Surely I would have been stoned or dragged behind a horse for disrobing in the garden. I would have had all undergarments removed, skirt hiked up to my hips, shoes discarded, sleeves ripped off the damn dress - you get the picture. That would have been considered naked back in the day. I would have been the talk of the town! "Scandalous" they would all whisper in the corner of the general store. Then there is the bath once or twice a month (if you're well to do). That would have never worked for me. I would have been in the creek with my homemade lye soap every single day! Imagine people thinking you odd, not right in the head for bathing daily! Oh the shame of it all! Like I said, I would have never lasted. Me in a pond with skirts bubbling up around my lifeless body all because some townsfolk wanted to see if I was a witch for all my strange ways.
So back to the garden...it is a necessity, unfortunately because that put a little more pressure on the whole project and making it work. I'm going to research canning this year as well to make our bounty stretch into the winter months. My husband and I were sitting on the back screen porch looking out into our yard and we were discussing the ample food sources we have. Squirrels, chipmunks, humming birds.... ever try to put a humming bird into a rotisserie? Or roasting pan? It just wouldn't work. The spit is wider in diameter than the bird itself and it would fall through the rack in the roasting pan. Not to mention you'd need like 100 of them to make any kind of a meal. It almost wouldn't be worth it - oh who am I kidding, it wouldn't be worth it. Since I'm being all honest and stuff, I'm not that strong...I cry when I watch Bambi. I tried to rescue a baby bunny from a hawk in our back yard, only to have the baby bunny die and a hawk go with out it's meal. I caused an upset in a fragile ecosystem right in my own back yard.
I think is more realistic to put all my efforts into the garden and cutting coupons.....I'll let you know how that works for me.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mothers
Happy Mother’s day to all the Moms who have given up their identities for their children. I am now either, Gabby’s Mom or Aidan’s Mom, Matt’s wife, “hey you over there!” I am an employee all day, cook and house cleaner at night, accountant when I’m not having anxiety attacks about the check book and I struggle to keep down a meal while trying to pay bills. Every now and again, when I get the courage, I navigate my way down to the basement to throw in a load of laundry only because someone has run out of underwear or socks. I don’t care what anyone says, you cannot have it all, you cannot do it all and anyone that is either is able to, or claims they are able to; well I’d like to either see their medicine cabinet, or look in their closets. They “perfect Mom” is either stocked up on Mama’s little helper, or their closets are ticking time bombs from all the crap they’ve stuffed in there to keep the appearance of tidiness and order.
Ever hear the saying “the squeaky wheel gets the oil”? That’s how it works in my house. Whatever, or whoever is making the most noise, gets the attention. For example…the heat goes out because we ran out of oil, why all bills get shoved to the side so I can buy some oil…works for me. A child gets stuck in a cobweb, I might vacuum depending on the severity. Kid is hungry, I feed them. Actually, I have to according to some law (I haven’t actually seen the law)… I believe it is our responsibility to give them a semi-clean, somewhat safe, warm place to stay, food, medical attention and clothing and our job is done. In most cases I have done all of those things, maybe not at the same time, but I do believe the children can attest to the fact that they’ve had those things at some point.
My idea of a perfect Mother’s day, is not brunch with the family (don’t get me wrong, I love brunch and omelet stations), plop me down on some deserted Island with a lawn chair and a thermos of Starbucks Sumatra and a good book (don’t forget the sunscreen – I’m very fair). I might need a sleeping bag too, because I plan on spending a couple days. I don’t want a computer, a cell phone, facebook, Internet, newspapers, TV – NOTHING! I would like to totally disconnect for 2 days. Just me, sand and ocean. No demands, no anxiety, no throwing up or dry heaving….not that I do that too often...ok, maybe the dry heaving, which I'm told by close friends and family isn't really attractive.
Any who, I certainly never knew it would be like this. There was no disclaimer to sign…no contract… nada. I didn’t get the instruction book and I won’t know for certain how much damage has actually been done until their about 45 – 50 years old and they come to my mobile home in Florida waving their stack Psychiatry bills. With any luck, I’ll have lost my marbles by then and will be in an “institution” eating pureed food and won’t understand a thing they are saying and I’ll think the stack of bills they are waving in my face are tissues. Honk.
Regardless, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Ever hear the saying “the squeaky wheel gets the oil”? That’s how it works in my house. Whatever, or whoever is making the most noise, gets the attention. For example…the heat goes out because we ran out of oil, why all bills get shoved to the side so I can buy some oil…works for me. A child gets stuck in a cobweb, I might vacuum depending on the severity. Kid is hungry, I feed them. Actually, I have to according to some law (I haven’t actually seen the law)… I believe it is our responsibility to give them a semi-clean, somewhat safe, warm place to stay, food, medical attention and clothing and our job is done. In most cases I have done all of those things, maybe not at the same time, but I do believe the children can attest to the fact that they’ve had those things at some point.
My idea of a perfect Mother’s day, is not brunch with the family (don’t get me wrong, I love brunch and omelet stations), plop me down on some deserted Island with a lawn chair and a thermos of Starbucks Sumatra and a good book (don’t forget the sunscreen – I’m very fair). I might need a sleeping bag too, because I plan on spending a couple days. I don’t want a computer, a cell phone, facebook, Internet, newspapers, TV – NOTHING! I would like to totally disconnect for 2 days. Just me, sand and ocean. No demands, no anxiety, no throwing up or dry heaving….not that I do that too often...ok, maybe the dry heaving, which I'm told by close friends and family isn't really attractive.
Any who, I certainly never knew it would be like this. There was no disclaimer to sign…no contract… nada. I didn’t get the instruction book and I won’t know for certain how much damage has actually been done until their about 45 – 50 years old and they come to my mobile home in Florida waving their stack Psychiatry bills. With any luck, I’ll have lost my marbles by then and will be in an “institution” eating pureed food and won’t understand a thing they are saying and I’ll think the stack of bills they are waving in my face are tissues. Honk.
Regardless, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Friday, April 30, 2010
No worse for wear
Well, here I am. Took me awhile and I do believe we left off with a cliff hanger....what happened to Mary, her family and guests after eating the corned beef? I'd like to say I just got home after a lengthy stay in the hospital recovering from EXTREME food poisoning... after eating the "beef" we needed to call a fleet of ambulances to come collect us all for a trip to the ER...they would have pumped our stomachs if we didn't already spew all the foulness from our bodies (the drivers are probably still cleaning out the ambulances). But, I cannot say that, because it didn't happen that way, it just would have made for a better story. Beef was delish! Everybody seemed to enjoy it and no one suffered any illness from it, that i know of. We would absolutely do it again, however, we wouldn't make so much....we were just following instructions from Julia.
The reason I haven't written in awhile, was even though I really enjoy writing. It is something that I feel comfortable doing, it makes me feel good....almost as good as a bowl of coffee ice cream with hot fudge (I'm pretty easy to please), I had to put on my Mommy hat and I had to stay focused on just that part of my life for awhile. I have two children that I adore and would gladly, without a second thought, chop off my right arm for....I also have a full time job that demands much of my attention as well, although my children and family always come first. I've pretty much made it a point not to really discuss my kids, my job or politics, but the first two have caused me great distress as of late, and here it is, in my blog for good or bad I'm not sure, but I do know it needs to come out....and here it is.
My daughter is 14, beautiful inside and out, and I look at her and wish I was more like her when I was younger. She is incredibly smart, funny and just amazing to me. I'm in awe. She has been going through a difficult time lately and I want to take it all away from her...let her know I understand exactly where she is and what she is going through because I have been in the bad place and I came through to the other side. I think the worst part of all is just not knowing what is going on in her beautiful mind and hoping we are doing the right things and making the right decisions.....because of this worry, I've been all consumed with over thinking and obsessing over everything we are doing or not doing and about the path we are on. I want to grab her and hold her tight and just hold on until everything is better and whatever pain she is going through is gone.
My son is 8, and full of life. He such a little boy and wonderful kid! He loves to play outside and I've looked out the window at him on his swing set, just swinging and singing and falling to the ground to just lie there and look up at the sky with the spring grass against his back....lying there for what seems to me like a long time, a spec in the grass, but at that moment owning the whole world, and I smile. He has Dents Disease which is a rare genetic kidney disease. While that might sound terribly scary, it is much, much better than what we originally thought he had. We thought he had FSGS which was far more serious than Dents. When his nephrologist changed the diagnosis, and we learned about Dents we were somewhat relieved. He is on medicine and it is working and we are addressing some of the side issues connected with Dents, which requires monthly urine & blood samples and just recently a 24 hour urine specimen which had to Federal Expressed from my job...the receptionist just loved when I let the "specimen" on her desk for pick up. Bottom line, I worry about him too and trying to take care of all the Dr's visits and just stay on top of things.... It is difficult. At times just exhausting.
So, these things along with a full time job have sucked me dry and all I could think about at the end of the day was going to bed to stop my mind from racing around and the furthest thing from my mind, was to write... I just couldn't.
I'm hoping things calm down a bit and I can get caught up on my everyday life...which seems to have gone to hell in a hand basket (I love that expression!). Once again the cat litter has gotten past that pivotal point of "oh, its dirty and needs to be changed" to "call the Department of Environmental Protection and tell them to wear the hazmat suits" - I believe I tend to use this as a gage for how far out of control my life tends to get. Cat litter clean - all is right with the world. Cat litter causing the paint to drip right off the walls - life is a mess. How profound and a shame the cat has to suffer for my mental issues!
With that I'll end this blog and go to bed. I will write again soon, and maybe I can find a balance between blogger and mommy?
Thank you for letting me (like anyone had a choice) emotionally vomit all over this blog.
Mary
The reason I haven't written in awhile, was even though I really enjoy writing. It is something that I feel comfortable doing, it makes me feel good....almost as good as a bowl of coffee ice cream with hot fudge (I'm pretty easy to please), I had to put on my Mommy hat and I had to stay focused on just that part of my life for awhile. I have two children that I adore and would gladly, without a second thought, chop off my right arm for....I also have a full time job that demands much of my attention as well, although my children and family always come first. I've pretty much made it a point not to really discuss my kids, my job or politics, but the first two have caused me great distress as of late, and here it is, in my blog for good or bad I'm not sure, but I do know it needs to come out....and here it is.
My daughter is 14, beautiful inside and out, and I look at her and wish I was more like her when I was younger. She is incredibly smart, funny and just amazing to me. I'm in awe. She has been going through a difficult time lately and I want to take it all away from her...let her know I understand exactly where she is and what she is going through because I have been in the bad place and I came through to the other side. I think the worst part of all is just not knowing what is going on in her beautiful mind and hoping we are doing the right things and making the right decisions.....because of this worry, I've been all consumed with over thinking and obsessing over everything we are doing or not doing and about the path we are on. I want to grab her and hold her tight and just hold on until everything is better and whatever pain she is going through is gone.
My son is 8, and full of life. He such a little boy and wonderful kid! He loves to play outside and I've looked out the window at him on his swing set, just swinging and singing and falling to the ground to just lie there and look up at the sky with the spring grass against his back....lying there for what seems to me like a long time, a spec in the grass, but at that moment owning the whole world, and I smile. He has Dents Disease which is a rare genetic kidney disease. While that might sound terribly scary, it is much, much better than what we originally thought he had. We thought he had FSGS which was far more serious than Dents. When his nephrologist changed the diagnosis, and we learned about Dents we were somewhat relieved. He is on medicine and it is working and we are addressing some of the side issues connected with Dents, which requires monthly urine & blood samples and just recently a 24 hour urine specimen which had to Federal Expressed from my job...the receptionist just loved when I let the "specimen" on her desk for pick up. Bottom line, I worry about him too and trying to take care of all the Dr's visits and just stay on top of things.... It is difficult. At times just exhausting.
So, these things along with a full time job have sucked me dry and all I could think about at the end of the day was going to bed to stop my mind from racing around and the furthest thing from my mind, was to write... I just couldn't.
I'm hoping things calm down a bit and I can get caught up on my everyday life...which seems to have gone to hell in a hand basket (I love that expression!). Once again the cat litter has gotten past that pivotal point of "oh, its dirty and needs to be changed" to "call the Department of Environmental Protection and tell them to wear the hazmat suits" - I believe I tend to use this as a gage for how far out of control my life tends to get. Cat litter clean - all is right with the world. Cat litter causing the paint to drip right off the walls - life is a mess. How profound and a shame the cat has to suffer for my mental issues!
With that I'll end this blog and go to bed. I will write again soon, and maybe I can find a balance between blogger and mommy?
Thank you for letting me (like anyone had a choice) emotionally vomit all over this blog.
Mary
Monday, February 22, 2010
Where's the Beef?
Yet another interesting title. Could mean so many things, couldn't it? I'll tell you what it means my friends, but first we need to ask the question again to obtain the maximum impact. Where's the beef you ask? It is residing in the entire bottom half of my fridge in heavy duty zip lock bags, that's where. Now, the real burning questions is why? I keep asking myself that. Why oh why do I now have to buy quarts of milk because I can't fit a gallon jug in my fridge anymore? Why?
Well it is coming up on that oh-so-important day, the Irish and pretty much everyone else, gorge themselves on alcohol, cabbage and yes, beef. Corned beef to be exact. Frankly I think it is a pretty deadly mix and if we could some how contain the gases caused by this combination, Iran will be well on their way to being a nuclear power. Normally, a couple days before St. Patrick's Day I would run to the store and pick up some vacuum packed corned beef and pop it in my fridge until it is time to throw it into a giant pot of water with some cabbage and potatoes. Voila! One of the easiest meals to make, ever! Well, not so much this year. My husband decided that it would be wonderful if we corned our own beef. Yeah! I jumped for joy I was so excited! First I had to go out and buy 12 lbs of beef and various spices needed to corn said beef. The thrill has worn off at this point. I went to the local grocery store to pick up the meat (massive amounts) and nearly keeled over from the cost. Ouch. Hurt like a corkscrew in my thumb. I think I pulled my arm out of the socket lugging all that cow to the register and all the while praying I didn't run into a vegetarian, like I would know one if I saw one. Actually, I probably would. They would be the ones with all the freakin rabbit food and tofu in their basket, which by the way weighs a lot less than what I'm carrying, but none the less, their pencil thin legs are buckling because they don't eat anything of substance, except maybe garbanzo beans but you still don't need a steak knife to eat those. Can pop them right in your mouth like M&M's. I, once again digress and I just want to be clear, I have the deepest respect for people who choose not to eat things with faces....I think if I were ever on a plane that crashed into the alps and I was one of the unlucky ones, I'd be extremely grateful for them. Sincerely.
Anyway, before purchasing the meat I had to run and gather spices for Chai Tea. More fun for me! Yeah! My husband wanted to make his own Chai instead of just boiling some water and sticking a Chai teabag into the steaming water. Of course he does. Because sticking a tea bag in a cup of water is just too easy. I just want to throttle him, all the while yelling JUST USE THE DAMN TEABAGS SWEET JESUS! So now, he smashes his spices using our mortar & pestle, which we've never used until now, boils the spices in a small pot and then adds the Indian black tea to steep. He strains the mixture and adds milk which he brings to a boil with the tea...all of this takes about 20 minutes. I've done the math and it just doesn't work for me. I could be working on world peace with this valuable time. Give me the tea bag any day and give me already prepared vacuum packed corned beef.
Back to the beef. So it's all seasoned with lots, and lots of kosher salt and other seasoning, curing in super large heavy duty zip lock bags AND it needs to be massaged every day, per Julia. Yes, "the Julia". She's nuts, or was nuts. May she rest in pesto. Gotta love her though with her ginormous man hands. Good for rubbing seasoning on beef. I ask my husband daily if he's fondled the beef yet? He shakes his he
ad and walks away from me. It is suppose to "cure" for at least 2 weeks, but you can go longer if you feel daring. God I love living on the edge! I'm just hoping after all this trouble it is edible....It would absolutely suck if it wasn't. That's probably how we would have to eat it - suck on it until it is chewable. Fifty-Five dollars in beef, and about $10 in spices down the toilet. We're in a recession right?
ad and walks away from me. It is suppose to "cure" for at least 2 weeks, but you can go longer if you feel daring. God I love living on the edge! I'm just hoping after all this trouble it is edible....It would absolutely suck if it wasn't. That's probably how we would have to eat it - suck on it until it is chewable. Fifty-Five dollars in beef, and about $10 in spices down the toilet. We're in a recession right?I'll let you all know how it goes....that's assuming me and my guests aren't in the hospital having our stomach's pumped. It will go down in infamy as the Great Corned Beef Debacle....
Until then....... Pog mo thoin.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
All stopped up
Update my friends...assuming there are friends out there? Hello! I managed to get my hair cut today and it pretty much went as expected with one slight twist. The hairdresser sat down on the coffee table across from the couch I was sitting on and asked, "What are we doing today?" I replied, "Oh I don't know, what do you think I should do?" She seemed thrown off by that, and I continued, "maybe take a couple inches off, and I'd like it to be something easy because I pretty much just wash and go." "Oh, ok how about some long layers with bangs?", she suggested. Hey wait that's my line! I agreed only because I didn't have any sort of plan walking in there and that is my main problem, no plan. $53.00 dollars later, and it looks ok, but would look a hell of a lot better with a face lift, contacts, hair dye, some new clothes, and a BMW convertible, maybe? Oh yeah, the whole thing took about 15minutes. Not for nothing, if I'm spending $53.00, which by the way is more than my husband spends at the same place, I would like a little bells & whistles, ok? I didn't get the usual thorough hair washing with the scalp massage and let me tell you that is the best part of a hair cut! It is so relaxing! She also just used a teenie tiny dab of conditioner, and the water was cold. I guess they are cutting back with this recession and all. She tried to style it, but really just amounted hair drying. I could have achieved the same results driving at like 65 miles per hour down the Taconic parkway with my head out the window. Actually someone else would probably need to drive because the Taconic is pretty windy and I'm not real good at multi tasking.
So after my long nap with my kitty Murphy. He sleeps at the top of my head on the pillow and purrs and kneads my hair with his claws during most of the nap and for some twisted reason, I find this soothing? Insanity, doctors, committed, institutional food (read the last blog).
Yeah, so after my nap I ran to the grocery store with my son to pick up a few things for next week and some chicken for dinner tonight, I had to phone my husband to let him know the grocery store was still sold out of Metamucil. For those of you who don't know what Metamucil is, it's a fiber type powder that you scoop into orange juice or the beverage of your choice to assist you in relieving yourself. That is if you are having difficulties in that particular area. I guess my husband is having difficulty in that area.
There must of have been some sort of run on Metamucil after Thanksgiving and the store apparently can't keep up with the demand? It's kind of odd to know that all these people are having bathroom issues - they could be someone you work with, a telemarketer, a state trooper (which would explain why they always seem so grumpy). Ok, back to the story. I explained the situation, but told him they had a big jug of this stuff called Citracal. He asked if it was the same thing and I thought so, but I proceeded to read the directions on the container, but ran into a little difficulty when I started to laugh really loud right there in the store isle. The directions said that you needed to use a lot of liquid otherwise you could choke on this stuff - that's when I started to laugh and inbetween my gasps for air and laughing I warned my husband that constipation would be the least of his worries. How to get the giant glob of fibery goo out of his gullet so he could breathe again is the real issue. Moral of this story, use lots & lots of liquid and it's probably not a good idea to use wine or vodka. I personally love the side effects - "this product may cause diarrhea" Call me silly and all, but wouldn't that be a welcome side effect? Any way, I got the Citracal and I'll check with my hubby to see which is the better product and give post his rating for all to see.
Now if anyone is offended or upset with this blog, Matt, go back to the blog that is titled "To blog or not to blog" where I explain that sometimes someone might be sacrificed for the greater good. This is one such time. Thank you darlin!
So after my long nap with my kitty Murphy. He sleeps at the top of my head on the pillow and purrs and kneads my hair with his claws during most of the nap and for some twisted reason, I find this soothing? Insanity, doctors, committed, institutional food (read the last blog).
Yeah, so after my nap I ran to the grocery store with my son to pick up a few things for next week and some chicken for dinner tonight, I had to phone my husband to let him know the grocery store was still sold out of Metamucil. For those of you who don't know what Metamucil is, it's a fiber type powder that you scoop into orange juice or the beverage of your choice to assist you in relieving yourself. That is if you are having difficulties in that particular area. I guess my husband is having difficulty in that area.
There must of have been some sort of run on Metamucil after Thanksgiving and the store apparently can't keep up with the demand? It's kind of odd to know that all these people are having bathroom issues - they could be someone you work with, a telemarketer, a state trooper (which would explain why they always seem so grumpy). Ok, back to the story. I explained the situation, but told him they had a big jug of this stuff called Citracal. He asked if it was the same thing and I thought so, but I proceeded to read the directions on the container, but ran into a little difficulty when I started to laugh really loud right there in the store isle. The directions said that you needed to use a lot of liquid otherwise you could choke on this stuff - that's when I started to laugh and inbetween my gasps for air and laughing I warned my husband that constipation would be the least of his worries. How to get the giant glob of fibery goo out of his gullet so he could breathe again is the real issue. Moral of this story, use lots & lots of liquid and it's probably not a good idea to use wine or vodka. I personally love the side effects - "this product may cause diarrhea" Call me silly and all, but wouldn't that be a welcome side effect? Any way, I got the Citracal and I'll check with my hubby to see which is the better product and give post his rating for all to see.
Now if anyone is offended or upset with this blog, Matt, go back to the blog that is titled "To blog or not to blog" where I explain that sometimes someone might be sacrificed for the greater good. This is one such time. Thank you darlin!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Sanity is Over-rated
It's 2010, and it's time to reflect on the past year and decide what kinds of drastic, life altering changes are going to be made for the new year. I'd like to get myself organized because as of late, I feel like my life has been spiraling out of control. I'd like to win the lotto, because that would take care of most of my major problems....but that is out of my control isn't it? Hmmm....Ironic really.
I've decided that, if I were to go insane (some might argue that I'm already there), I would want to be the sort of insane person that others find amusing. "Poor Mary, she's really lost her very last marble, but she is a crack up!" Assuming that is I can choose the sort of insane person I might become, if in fact I ever go insane. I do not want to be the sort of insane person that walks into a room and everyone else in that room runs away screaming and flailing their arms in absolute terror. What is the fun in being insane if there's no one there to enjoy it with except your make believe friends, which in your mind aren't really make believe, they are very real and can carry a stimulating conversation? Let's just remember folks, it only takes 2 doctors to have someone committed and legally they can hold you for 72 hours. Just some food for thought.
That being said, I think I'll start off by getting my hair cut tomorrow. Nothing like a new do to make you feel like your starting off fresh as a daisy. Never works out the way I plan it though. I get there and all I can manage to spit out is, "uh, take a few inches off and maybe some layers?" I walk out with basically the same cut just a bit neater & shorter. I'd also like to get my paper work in order too. No, not that kind of paper work - just clean up my file cabinet, get rid of old bills, etc. Then there is the Christmas decorations to take down. That's always fun. If I won the lotto, I could just throw everything out and buy new stuff next year.....that would be so much easier!
I'd also like to spruce up my wardrobe....again, the lotto would help with that as well. Boy oh boy I'm banking on a game that I rarely play and even if I did, the odds of winning are next to impossible - that's a fine way to start out the new year. Head stuck in the clouds dreaming of all the wonderful things I'll be able to do with the money I'm hoping to win, from a game I don't play. Nuts isn't it? 2 Doctors, remember?
It would be more realistic if I said I was going to learn how to sew and make myself a brand new wardrobe with my own two hands. Ooooh - I just got really scared. I'm envisioning long rectangular sleeves with wholes cut in for arms in various colors and patterns with sashes around the middle, all hung up in a nice neat scary row in my closet. Kind of like what you would make for your barbie doll when you are like 10. OK, never mind ...just disregard the whole sewing thing. It's really not going to happen.
I'd like to clean our basement out. OK I need to stop right there. I don't like going down there. It's cold, damp, dark and there are lots and lots of spiders not to mention mice. I think I would have to take some medication prior to tackling that little project. The only thing I am able to do down there is go directly to my little laundry nook, do my business with the washer & dryer and scurry on out of there like I'm being chased. I'd be in big, big trouble if a tornado was tearing though our town and all residents are urged to take shelter in their basements immediately. I think I would just take my chances and duct tape myself to a tree or something before I went down into our basement.
So far new year is shaping up to be about the same as the last year and I'm only one day into it - way to go Mary! Before going to get my hair cut I think I will go play the lotto. Cross your fingers!
Happy New Year!
I've decided that, if I were to go insane (some might argue that I'm already there), I would want to be the sort of insane person that others find amusing. "Poor Mary, she's really lost her very last marble, but she is a crack up!" Assuming that is I can choose the sort of insane person I might become, if in fact I ever go insane. I do not want to be the sort of insane person that walks into a room and everyone else in that room runs away screaming and flailing their arms in absolute terror. What is the fun in being insane if there's no one there to enjoy it with except your make believe friends, which in your mind aren't really make believe, they are very real and can carry a stimulating conversation? Let's just remember folks, it only takes 2 doctors to have someone committed and legally they can hold you for 72 hours. Just some food for thought.
That being said, I think I'll start off by getting my hair cut tomorrow. Nothing like a new do to make you feel like your starting off fresh as a daisy. Never works out the way I plan it though. I get there and all I can manage to spit out is, "uh, take a few inches off and maybe some layers?" I walk out with basically the same cut just a bit neater & shorter. I'd also like to get my paper work in order too. No, not that kind of paper work - just clean up my file cabinet, get rid of old bills, etc. Then there is the Christmas decorations to take down. That's always fun. If I won the lotto, I could just throw everything out and buy new stuff next year.....that would be so much easier!
I'd also like to spruce up my wardrobe....again, the lotto would help with that as well. Boy oh boy I'm banking on a game that I rarely play and even if I did, the odds of winning are next to impossible - that's a fine way to start out the new year. Head stuck in the clouds dreaming of all the wonderful things I'll be able to do with the money I'm hoping to win, from a game I don't play. Nuts isn't it? 2 Doctors, remember?
It would be more realistic if I said I was going to learn how to sew and make myself a brand new wardrobe with my own two hands. Ooooh - I just got really scared. I'm envisioning long rectangular sleeves with wholes cut in for arms in various colors and patterns with sashes around the middle, all hung up in a nice neat scary row in my closet. Kind of like what you would make for your barbie doll when you are like 10. OK, never mind ...just disregard the whole sewing thing. It's really not going to happen.
I'd like to clean our basement out. OK I need to stop right there. I don't like going down there. It's cold, damp, dark and there are lots and lots of spiders not to mention mice. I think I would have to take some medication prior to tackling that little project. The only thing I am able to do down there is go directly to my little laundry nook, do my business with the washer & dryer and scurry on out of there like I'm being chased. I'd be in big, big trouble if a tornado was tearing though our town and all residents are urged to take shelter in their basements immediately. I think I would just take my chances and duct tape myself to a tree or something before I went down into our basement.
So far new year is shaping up to be about the same as the last year and I'm only one day into it - way to go Mary! Before going to get my hair cut I think I will go play the lotto. Cross your fingers!
Happy New Year!
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