No worse for wear

Well, here I am. Took me awhile and I do believe we left off with a cliff hanger....what happened to Mary, her family and guests after eating the corned beef? I'd like to say I just got home after a lengthy stay in the hospital recovering from EXTREME food poisoning... after eating the "beef" we needed to call a fleet of ambulances to come collect us all for a trip to the ER...they would have pumped our stomachs if we didn't already spew all the foulness from our bodies (the drivers are probably still cleaning out the ambulances). But, I cannot say that, because it didn't happen that way, it just would have made for a better story. Beef was delish! Everybody seemed to enjoy it and no one suffered any illness from it, that i know of. We would absolutely do it again, however, we wouldn't make so much....we were just following instructions from Julia.

The reason I haven't written in awhile, was even though I really enjoy writing. It is something that I feel comfortable doing, it makes me feel good....almost as good as a bowl of coffee ice cream with hot fudge (I'm pretty easy to please), I had to put on my Mommy hat and I had to stay focused on just that part of my life for awhile. I have two children that I adore and would gladly, without a second thought, chop off my right arm for....I also have a full time job that demands much of my attention as well, although my children and family always come first. I've pretty much made it a point not to really discuss my kids, my job or politics, but the first two have caused me great distress as of late, and here it is, in my blog for good or bad I'm not sure, but I do know it needs to come out....and here it is.

My daughter is 14, beautiful inside and out, and I look at her and wish I was more like her when I was younger. She is incredibly smart, funny and just amazing to me. I'm in awe. She has been going through a difficult time lately and I want to take it all away from her...let her know I understand exactly where she is and what she is going through because I have been in the bad place and I came through to the other side. I think the worst part of all is just not knowing what is going on in her beautiful mind and hoping we are doing the right things and making the right decisions.....because of this worry, I've been all consumed with over thinking and obsessing over everything we are doing or not doing and about the path we are on. I want to grab her and hold her tight and just hold on until everything is better and whatever pain she is going through is gone.

My son is 8, and full of life. He such a little boy and wonderful kid! He loves to play outside and I've looked out the window at him on his swing set, just swinging and singing and falling to the ground to just lie there and look up at the sky with the spring grass against his back....lying there for what seems to me like a long time, a spec in the grass, but at that moment owning the whole world, and I smile. He has Dents Disease which is a rare genetic kidney disease. While that might sound terribly scary, it is much, much better than what we originally thought he had. We thought he had FSGS which was far more serious than Dents. When his nephrologist changed the diagnosis, and we learned about Dents we were somewhat relieved. He is on medicine and it is working and we are addressing some of the side issues connected with Dents, which requires monthly urine & blood samples and just recently a 24 hour urine specimen which had to Federal Expressed from my job...the receptionist just loved when I let the "specimen" on her desk for pick up. Bottom line, I worry about him too and trying to take care of all the Dr's visits and just stay on top of things.... It is difficult. At times just exhausting.

So, these things along with a full time job have sucked me dry and all I could think about at the end of the day was going to bed to stop my mind from racing around and the furthest thing from my mind, was to write... I just couldn't.

I'm hoping things calm down a bit and I can get caught up on my everyday life...which seems to have gone to hell in a hand basket (I love that expression!). Once again the cat litter has gotten past that pivotal point of "oh, its dirty and needs to be changed" to "call the Department of Environmental Protection and tell them to wear the hazmat suits" - I believe I tend to use this as a gage for how far out of control my life tends to get. Cat litter clean - all is right with the world. Cat litter causing the paint to drip right off the walls - life is a mess. How profound and a shame the cat has to suffer for my mental issues!

With that I'll end this blog and go to bed. I will write again soon, and maybe I can find a balance between blogger and mommy?

Thank you for letting me (like anyone had a choice) emotionally vomit all over this blog.
Mary