Happy Mother’s day to all the Moms who have given up their identities for their children. I am now either, Gabby’s Mom or Aidan’s Mom, Matt’s wife, “hey you over there!” I am an employee all day, cook and house cleaner at night, accountant when I’m not having anxiety attacks about the check book and I struggle to keep down a meal while trying to pay bills. Every now and again, when I get the courage, I navigate my way down to the basement to throw in a load of laundry only because someone has run out of underwear or socks. I don’t care what anyone says, you cannot have it all, you cannot do it all and anyone that is either is able to, or claims they are able to; well I’d like to either see their medicine cabinet, or look in their closets. They “perfect Mom” is either stocked up on Mama’s little helper, or their closets are ticking time bombs from all the crap they’ve stuffed in there to keep the appearance of tidiness and order.
Ever hear the saying “the squeaky wheel gets the oil”? That’s how it works in my house. Whatever, or whoever is making the most noise, gets the attention. For example…the heat goes out because we ran out of oil, why all bills get shoved to the side so I can buy some oil…works for me. A child gets stuck in a cobweb, I might vacuum depending on the severity. Kid is hungry, I feed them. Actually, I have to according to some law (I haven’t actually seen the law)… I believe it is our responsibility to give them a semi-clean, somewhat safe, warm place to stay, food, medical attention and clothing and our job is done. In most cases I have done all of those things, maybe not at the same time, but I do believe the children can attest to the fact that they’ve had those things at some point.
My idea of a perfect Mother’s day, is not brunch with the family (don’t get me wrong, I love brunch and omelet stations), plop me down on some deserted Island with a lawn chair and a thermos of Starbucks Sumatra and a good book (don’t forget the sunscreen – I’m very fair). I might need a sleeping bag too, because I plan on spending a couple days. I don’t want a computer, a cell phone, facebook, Internet, newspapers, TV – NOTHING! I would like to totally disconnect for 2 days. Just me, sand and ocean. No demands, no anxiety, no throwing up or dry heaving….not that I do that too often...ok, maybe the dry heaving, which I'm told by close friends and family isn't really attractive.
Any who, I certainly never knew it would be like this. There was no disclaimer to sign…no contract… nada. I didn’t get the instruction book and I won’t know for certain how much damage has actually been done until their about 45 – 50 years old and they come to my mobile home in Florida waving their stack Psychiatry bills. With any luck, I’ll have lost my marbles by then and will be in an “institution” eating pureed food and won’t understand a thing they are saying and I’ll think the stack of bills they are waving in my face are tissues. Honk.
Regardless, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Happy Mother’s Day!
